lately, i've been faced with a dilemma. ok, that's a lie.
it wasn't lately. it happened some months back, and i still find myself thinking of what to do. it's not something i (or anyone) could simply dismiss on a whim.
to start from the beginning, i went to make a pair of glasses in a neighbourhood that i would *quite* unlikely to because of its location (it was far removed from the usual shoppers' haunts, if you get me). anyway, after making my glasses, i waited for my mum to have her eyes checked and for her to choose her frames. i could've gone off, having come in separate cars. but i just decided to wait.
and prolly because of that, i bumped into a person i didn't think i would meet again. not ever, but just the thought never occur to me that i would ever see her again. she and i were friends in primary school, but when we went to high school, we hung out with different crowds, so.
i was walking to my car when i saw this heavily preggie woman waddling past, looking at me. naturally, i looked back. and we realise that we know each other.
neways...we said and shrieked our 'hi's as women are wont to do when they see each other after so long. our separation brought to a decade and then some. we did the *hug hug*, *muah muah* (i.e. air kisses), then some basic 'speed catching up' questions, she said she was going to 1 Utama, where she work as a promoter and i was headed for the Curve (for gym - would you believe it!!!) so i offered her a ride.
that's when she told me. she was pregnant with her fifth kid (there was a fourth, but she aborted that one). being married at 18, i guess that was possible. hahah..we're not all that old! she asked if i were married after i said, "Fifth? I don't even have ONE!" ..that was actually kind of funny in retrospect coz when someone said what i said in the tone i said it, it was as if i should have at least one kid - by right. Heh. so anyway, i told her, "No. No, I am not married."
She waved her hand and said, "Take your time. seriously. marriage is not all what it's made out to be. please choose carefully." I'm turning 29 this year. Take my time?? Not the sound advice, i thought. but choose carefully, that part i can take heed.
apparently, her husband insulted her woman person when he brought another woman into their home, their bed, and hit her in front of that woman. tsk tsk tsk. how can anyone even....??? how can the (for lack of a better term) 'bitch' look on and allow a man to do that unto another? SIGH.
so she left him, took their three kids with her to her mother's only to have her other siblings turn her away on the grounds that she and her kids just be trouble to their mother. AND they even stopped her kids from eating in that house. it was God sent that her aunt from Ampang came to get her and the kids.
she stayed with her aunt for a year. she was preggers with their fourth at the time, but she aborted the child for lack of better judgment. the unborn child was not the one at fault. ah, then again..who's to say? perhaps she was just trying to forget the last thing she shares with that b*stardos.
so one year later, somehow life puts them back in the same path again and they somehow got back together. he asked her to come back to him, since they weren't properly divorced or anything, 'merely' separated. and nevermind she just found a man who was so good to her and her kids he helped with buying the kids' milk and stuff. she left her new found life and went back to her husband thinking they had another chance at it, and it was for the kids' own interest too. he does love the kids, after all...
but then, not long after, the past repeats itself, and again there was another woman in her bed, and again, he hit her. the first one earned her a cut lip that needed sewing up, this time, the bruises were so bad her eldest son of 9 years pleaded with her to run away.
fired up with the whole life altering experience of my old mate, i thought of ways to help her. how? how? how? i suggested that she look for a job minding kids in the nursery for better working conditions. and while some might be lucky enough to come across a nursery that let their nurses stay in the house with their kids, she has THREE in tow, which seemed a bit of a stretch if anyone would even hire her.
to top all of this Life's very Real miseries, two of her kids (affecting both the boys, the girl spared) have Haemophilia, a condition where low plasma clotting causes bleeding to go on excessively for a longer period of time than otherwise. Imagine. It was her blessing, though she said that her boys are brilliant in school. they do really well. i'm glad for her. i guess all she has to hold on to now is her kids.
the best i could do for her is point her in (hopefully) the right direction and pray for the best. however, my dilemma comes in when my conscience feels that i should do all i can to help her and her kids. physically move them and relocate them at help centres (there are such that exists, though in sad limits of resources) at the same time, i've been warned that that might not be the best idea since she's got a violent husband, and me..none of my own to shield me from any form of threat.
what's a girl to do?.. perhaps the answer will come to me soon and maybe, things may happen for this family. better things. good things.
>> pic credits go to final fantasy..
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