A thought occured to me. My esteem not being affected by Rejection. Does that mean I'm at the Height of Arrogance or just Supreme Confidence?
Height of Arrogance..
I weighed this possibility only because it was there. The possibility, that is. The arrogance of not being affected from a Rejection by someone whom you love..? Is such a thing possible? Have I no heart?
Supereme Confidence
Such as it is. Just very sure of myself that I do not think Rejection should mean anything more than the specs in me does not suit Dude's fancy. But whatever, because Dude does not dictate what's what. For, doesn't Outer Beauty, Inner Self, Heart, Mind, Soul..all lies in the eyes of the beholder?
Who is any One person to Judge? Who holds the Ultimate right to Dictate? Nobody but Allah. Nobody. No human has that kind of Power. Even when they do, it is only because (as I said earlier in my previous post) we gave it to them.
..i read somewhere that one who does not cry or affected by rejection, has no heart. i don't know. but i just cannot agree. because, while i have a heart,..i too have a mind. a soul. a life within me that holds true to me. perhaps i am affected by the rejection. but i am not affected fatally, unconsolably.
In Fact, on the Eve of Raya, Dude called me in the office. It was the first time in what felt like months (probably two, but i really wasn't counting..then again, judging from my previous post it was probably a month..hahaha..) that we ever spoke. He said he called to wish me Hari Raya (trans : Eid Mubarak) and to Maaf Zahir dan Batin (trans : forgive and forget ..),.. we ended up talking for an hour, catching up on things, laughing, joking, teasing.
Maybe one day I shall have the Strength to be Friends with him and stay indifferent. Until that day comes,..I'm staying as far away from Dude as I can.
Ah, well.. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir dan Batin, everyone!
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