..a Test of Faith and an Unconditional Love..

I've been trying to write this piece for so long. I didn't realise how difficult it was to spill the questions in my head onto this bit of space I have on the WorldWideWeb. I have attempted, saved as draft and then wrote on the word document as "Blog meRepek" and scratched out and overwritten more times than I had cared to count. Finally, though. I think I've got it.

*deep breath*.. well here I go,..

..the delivery..

God made each person with a partner of their own. Is it a wonder then, that humans instinctively search for the one that is meant to be theirs?

I suppose not.

For those who feels they have found their ‘one’, how sure are they of that other one? A couple may say their love is true, their love is strong, but will they survive the Test of Faith? How willing are they to go on a Test of Faith?

Can’t faith be tested through something as elementary as….flirting? Just how harmless is harmless flirting? Can a couple survive it? When one partner flirts with another outside the ‘partnership’, will he or she risk falling into love with someone else or would he or she realise how strong his or her feelings are(or not) towards his or her partner?

Seriously, what is the point of being with someone when your feelings for another is stronger? And the only way to know it is to test that? Or are you willing to take the chance, hold on and see if in the course of your life you would eventually find someone whom you feel more strongly for, or maybe, not encounter with such as that at all. Are we all that lucky?

How many of us are willing to put whatever we have to the test? Some might want to hold on to their respective ‘safety nets’ as one friend puts it – because after all, something is better than nothing. That, or they already feel that strong faith and insists that when there's trust there's no need for tests.

While that's true, how sure are we that *this* is it?.. So many couples reserve at least 1% or, the more common among my set being 10% for themselves, and the rest, they give up to love. What happened to ‘I love thee, therefore I trust thee’? Why can’t I be and feel secure with giving 100%? Is giving 100% being idealistic and naïve? Or, is giving 100% means that it is loving without condition? In other words, being free.

That being said, how many of us, then actually settle for the sake of settling down? And be content with that? I know I wouldn’t be happy should my situation come to that. God, I hope not. I wish for a relationship, a love that’s free of doubts and totally unconditional. What’s the use of having someone, at the same time having the agony of the very idea of losing that someone?

Will I be compromising myself if I let myself go 100%, or would I be compromising myself if I hold myself back, if only for a fraction? Which is it?

Or, is love, love. And then so there?

Take a pause and think. Is love enough? Growing up, I realise that *just* love is not enough.. Like that song,..what is it called?..It's an old song and I cannot remember, but a lady sang it. What other things that factors in is the friendship, the understanding, the trust, the chemistry, the giving, the taking, the…a lot of other things.

Isn’t it good to know that you are in a very sure relationship that can see through the test of every temptation and threat inside a relationship than not to test it and be content with whatever uncertainties and maneuver your way around it when some obstacle or another crops up? What if the thing that cropped up cannot be wrestled and you end up defeated?

Isn’t it great to be in a position to know that no matter what temptation is out there, that you’re still the only one for your partner and no other will do for him or her?

Isn't it wonderful to know that you have taken a good look around out there, and know that you're exactly with who you should be with.

But to get there… there are just so many obstacles to go through. So many heartaches, so many pain, so many uncertainties. The way I see it, it’s all or nothing. If I lose out, gets heartbroken in the process of that ‘test environment’, then it was never meant to be in the first place. It’d just probably end up with me being unhappy anyway. Eventually.

But..going through it all, the obstacles, the heartaches, the pain,…and then surviving it.. isn’t it then well worth the whole hoola? Because then…you’d know the here and the where and the what of the relationship. And it’s going to last…insya-Allah(God-willing) for all of enternity.

Having someone to love unconditionally and to receive same…is it too much to ask?..

Perhaps, in the world today,…being as it is,..with more women around than there are men(and then men made up of population with the mix of gays, addicts and whatnots..), with the new challenges in today’s life and living,..with the world coming to its end(for those who understands it, it’s what we call, ‘Akhir Zaman’).. just perhaps, it’s a lot to ask.

But too much?...I think not, my friend.

....No, I think not.

…to the best that is yet to come.. *mmmuaahhhhsss...*